I have a feeling that the Monday title won’t stick!! I’m not liking it too much.. in fact… as I was typing just now, I decided to strike the original title and change it to Motivated by Monday.
What an oxymoron! I’m not motivated by Mondays… Mostly because I’m not doing what I love, but I intend to someday… I guess we can say I'm speaking it into existence! Boom… So there you have it… One day that title will be true! In the meantime… let’s talk about Monday!
Typical start to my week… I haven’t gone back to making my bed up in the mornings and yes, I’ve been hitting the snooze button… but I made it to work on time and even managed a little overtime after work! So blah…Typical Monday… I’m determined to end it with a quick work out on my floor…Maybe a few crunches (I need to work off these Klondike bars that I’ve been munching on since the snow showed its face…) and a push up or two!
To end on somewhat of a positive note… I’ll share this… It starts kind of weird, but bear with me…
To get through my days at work, I’m usually listening to a playlist on Spotify. You know how songs make me feel… I, like most of us, associate certain songs to memories, some good and some bad. Today, while working on notes for a meeting I attended, Dwele’s “Open your Eyes” came on.
“I see you in a lonely place…how can you be so blind. You’re still regretting the love you left, left behind. Oh darling… I see you go through a change, sitting along each night. Are you expecting to find the love, love that’s right. Oh darling, open your eyes and let me show you the light. Girl you’ll never find the love that’s right….
There is a light that shines special for you and me…. You’ll need to look at the other side. You’ll agree… ”
Ok.. that’s enough. That song triggers a beautiful memory for me at the time, but definitely took me to a place today.. I was literally about to cry thug tears. My ex-husband used to create mixtapes that told “our story.” That was one of the songs from the first mixtape. I don’t think I’ve heard it since then. Anyway, I immediately went into this dark place that I’ve been trying to stay away from. That place where I hear the lies that I’ll never find love like that again…
That I’m the reason that my relationship ended…
I mean…after all… most of the guys I dated seriously are married now…
“…and look at you… divorced…”
I mean… THOSE kind of lies.
Lies that I believe and pray like HELL that God will help me ignore. Anyway… right on time, my friend sends me an article entitled, “How To Ruin Your Life (Without you noticing that you are). Good stuff… I’ll include the link so you can read it, but check this out:
“You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively….You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren’t good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.”
Commmmmeeeee on, *in the voice of one of my good, church friends, Katie* If my God is not an on time God, man…!!!
I’ma leave that right there! Check it out if you feel you need it!!!
Good stuff.
Until next time,
Stix
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