Day 28: January 28, 2016 #goals

I woke up with one thing on my mind.... Modeling! 

I don't think I've ever wanted something so badly...

I was thinking about what I needed to do to make it happen....  

The different brands I want to model for...

my model body... 

The steps I'm taking to tone up and get a bit more lean... 

The plans I'm making to build my portfolio... 

Shoot, shoot, shot ... 

Restore confidence... 

Grow..

bE... 

eVoLvE...

Not a lot of words today.... 

Just dreaming... 

I'm inspired... 

                           

CK, I'm ready! 

28 days... still going strong!

Until next time, 
Stix

Day 25- January 25, 2015: (Monday Numero Quatro) Motivated by Monday IV

 I have a feeling that the Monday title won’t stick!! I’m not liking it too much.. in fact… as I was typing just now, I decided to strike the original title and change it to Motivated by Monday. 

What an oxymoron! I’m not motivated by Mondays… Mostly because I’m not doing what I love, but I intend to someday… I guess we can say I'm speaking it into existence! Boom… So there you have it… One day that title will be true! In the meantime… let’s talk about Monday!

Typical start to my week… I haven’t gone back to making my bed up in the mornings and yes, I’ve been hitting the snooze button… but I made it to work on time and even managed a little overtime after work! So blah…Typical Monday… I’m determined to end it with a quick work out on my floor…Maybe a few crunches (I need to work off these Klondike bars that I’ve been munching on since the snow showed its face…) and a push up or two! 

To end on somewhat of a positive note… I’ll share this… It starts kind of weird, but bear with me…

To get through my days at work, I’m usually listening to a playlist on Spotify. You know how songs make me feel… I, like most of us, associate certain songs to memories, some good and some bad. Today, while working on notes for a meeting I attended, Dwele’s “Open your Eyes” came on.

“I see you in a lonely place…how can you be so blind. You’re still regretting the love you left, left behind. Oh darling… I see you go through a change, sitting along each night. Are you expecting to find the love, love that’s right. Oh darling, open your eyes and let me show you the light. Girl you’ll never find the love that’s right….

There is a light that shines special for you and me…. You’ll need to look at the other side. You’ll agree… ”

Ok.. that’s enough. That song triggers a beautiful memory for me at the time, but definitely took me to a place today.. I was literally about to cry thug tears. My ex-husband used to create mixtapes that told “our story.” That was one of the songs from the first mixtape. I don’t think I’ve heard it since then. Anyway, I immediately went into this dark place that I’ve been trying to stay away from. That place where I hear the lies that I’ll never find love like that again…

That I’m the reason that my relationship ended…

I mean…after all… most of the guys I dated seriously are married now…

“…and look at you… divorced…”

I mean… THOSE kind of lies. 

Lies that I believe and pray like HELL that God will help me ignore. Anyway… right on time, my friend sends me an article entitled, “How To Ruin Your Life (Without you noticing that you are). Good stuff… I’ll include the link so you can read it, but check this out:

“You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively….You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren’t good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.”

 Commmmmeeeee on,  *in the voice of one of my good, church friends, Katie* If my God is not an on time God, man…!!! 

 http://thoughtcatalog.com/bianca-sparacino/2014/11/how-to-ruin-your-life-without-even-noticing-that-you-are/

 I’ma leave that right there! Check it out if you feel you need it!!! 

 Good stuff.

Until next time, 

Stix

Day 24: January 24, 2016- The End of the Snowpocalypse

Thank God!!!

Although I was able to get out of the house on Saturday, for a little bit, I wasn't able to go as I please like I'm accustomed too. I almost thought Day 24 would be the same way! I woke up a lot earlier than I had hoped because I went to bed pretty darn early the night before... I mean... what else was there to do?? lol

I looked out of the window and saw that the sun was out, but the ice was not trying to go anywhere. I had a kickboxing class planned... I NEEDED that ice to go! I needed some normalcy and working out was just the thing! Thank God a few hours later, as it warmed up, I was able to get out and enjoy a killer workout!

After my workout, some of my friends were just as anxious to get out of the house, so we agreed to meet up a little later for a Target run (for me that meant more Starbucks), Chinese food nearby, and then a movie! We may or may not have snuck our Starbucks and Chinese food into the theater!! G-STATUS!!

There is nothing like Starbucks and a good movie to end your weekend! lol We saw Ride Along 2! I'm not a fan of Kevin Hart... I've shared this before, but overall I enjoyed the film. It had its funny parts.. it's typical Kevin Hart lines that the black folks love *rolling eyes emoji*, and a pretty good plot to keep my attention! I walked away pretty geeked about a few new movies that will be coming out this year!

Yall know that I'm about to be seeing movies quite a bit now that television is gone!

Overall a good day.. No television... I honestly don't miss it. The only thing I'm sad about is not seeing the Toni Braxton film. I told my mom that she has to keep it on her DVR forever and she answers with, "I don't know why you didn't fast from something that you can actually do..." Dang. So what is she saying... I'm not gonna make it 366 days without television!!

Ma ain't got NO FAITH IN A BREH!!! smh.

Until next time,
Stix

P.S.- My gorgeous sister's birthday was the 24th!!! Quick shout out to her!!!! Love you baby girl! And her's a pic... Isn't she the cutest??



Bye 4real now!!

#Day 23- January 23, 2016: Snow day Adventures

Something I could have shared in my last blog, but didn't... because... I was in a mood, is that we pretty much got an obscene amount of snow in Nashville on January 22nd. I would say about 5-7 inches. It's been quite beautiful.

My roommate, dog, and I were pretty much snowed in most of that day. I knew I couldn't spend another day in the house, so I had planned on walking my dog and maybe walking to Starbucks too!! On my way out to walk my dog, my roommate asked if I were up for a snow day adventure! Thank God we were on the same page! We went to Starbucks, Walgreens, and Kroger! lol.. It doesn't seem like much, but it's definitely something compared to just sitting in the house looking at ourselves. Weird...

Starbucks was just what I needed...

Grabbed some Aleve and lip balm from Walgreens...

And picked up the fixings for some bomb chili that I thought my roommate was going to make for me becaaaaauuuuuusseee i'on cook like that!

To my surprise, we made it back home and she made me cook my chili! Apparently she wants me to be able to cook one meal for some guy who I'm supposed to date and at some point marry... Little does she know, that whoever I marry has to be able to cook for himself BECAUSE I'M NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE! haha! It wasn't so bad though. In fact it was quite easy. I could make it again... *shrugs* lol We'll see. Naw, but for real, I'm glad she showed me. I could have at least ONE MEAL under my belt to trick him into liking me. lol kidding.

Sidenote: I don't think I told you guys this... I deleted the Tinder app. Waaaayyyyy too much to keep up with. I'm not built for that life. I knew I wasn't the moment I signed up. I was bored and in my feelings... lol Honey, I'm good now. Match may get deleted too with the way I've been feeling lately. I went on a date with another random that wasn't all that good... Not a bad dude, just not for me. See... I could have posted all of this in the last post. I'm KAT! Anyway... back to my day.... 

I tried taking a nap... that didn't work...

I started washing clothes, as I stated on the last blog, and started playing with my blog. There were some errors yall didn't tell me about, so I had to fix those and finally create a layout for the page. Not really what I have in mind but I'll figure it out.

I also set up my Model Mayhem account so I can start seeking modeling gigs there! I'm hoping something cool will come out of that.

Well... there's day 23 for you! Looking forward to tomorrow. Hoping the snow is pretty much gone so I can hit up Starbucks again and make up my kickboxing class.

This snow has caused my kickboxing class, boxing class, and first fashion show rehearsal to all get cancelled! I'm ready to start getting out and living and this snow is making me get my life together at the crib... lol I ain't mad. I needed these two days.

Until next time,

Stix

#day15- January 15, 2016: Lame post.com II

Hey y'all! 

Another lame post ahead... You've been warned. 

I babysat for one of my favorite families from 7:30pm until 1am in the morning. It was the first time that I felt tempted to watch television!!! Like... who would have known?!!! Y'all wouldn't have. lol I'm committed to being disciplined in this area! I did NOT watch television!! Instead, I read a bit, wrote two lame blog posts to catch up, and talked on the phone!! 

I'm winning!

I recognize that if I don't start doing something interesting, outside of not watching television, then this blog could turn into the ultimate BORE! 

Working on it...

Until next time,

 -Stix 

#day12- January 12, 2016- Dear Diary, The struggle though...

Every time I type out the date in my title I feel the need to say....

"Dear Diary,..."

Random, I know. Maybe now that I've said it, it will be out of my system.

Tuesday! It was better than Monday, that's for sure! Not much better than Monday, but definitely better.... And by better, I mean I didn't hit the snooze button or get back in the bed. That's as far as it went though. I've completely gotten out of the routine of making my bed already. I think I'm going to try writing out my days, chore by chore to develop a better habit of handling my bih-ness because the way my life is currently set up( I actually hate that I quote that Kevin Hart line, but it's so necessary... Not really a fan of his, but I digress) I'm going to have to plan this out a little better.

It's amazing how I'm so disciplined at work. I set a goal for myself and I get it down... If I plan to be at work early, I usually do it. If I want to work an additional 2-4 hours, I do that as well! What is it about meeting my goals outside of work?? It's a daily battle I tell you!! 

Tomorrow starts my first day of the kickboxing class I signed up for... Let's see how this goes!! 

Until next time,

Stix

#day11- January 11, 2016: Monday Numero Dos

I've decided that I'm counting every Monday because... They're important. Lol They, for me, are the hardest day of the week and usually sets the tone for that week. It was another bluesy Monday for me. I didn't hit the snooze button. I did something worse. I got out of the bed, turned on my light, went to the bathroom, and then got back in the bed. I literally set my alarm clock and got back in the bed, with the light on, for another 15 minutes. 

I know.... I'm judging me too!!

I have to do better. 

Remember that #wcw I mentioned last week, Myleik Teele?! She does something cool on Sunday's that I think I'm going to try. She celebrates week's end on Sunday with champagne and sets goals for the next week! It makes sense! It's like rewarding yourself for all you accomplished the week before and take that positive energy into the start of the new week. Celebrating the end of one week at the beginning of the next week with champagne is pretty darn genius to me! I'm doing it.. Try it with me?!

Another day of no television down though! I have yet to slip there! And I won't! I hardly ever think about it. I've been reading quite a bit! Right now I'm juggling Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes and Grey by E L James! 

Can't complain...! 

Anywho.....

*Lifts glass* 

To a better start tomorrow,

-Stix

#dayfour- January 4, 2016: Expectation Vs Reality

The Expectation: The first Monday of the year!! I had it all planned out. I wasn't going to hit the snooze button. I was going to wake up in ample time to take Tucker (my dog) for a nice walk. I was going to have my first cup of Starbucks for the year and be at work at 6am. The dream was set! I was ready to set the tone for my year y'all....

You can probably tell where I'm going with this as you read along, right?! Lol 

Reality: Weeeeeellllll.... The truth is... my expectation did not meet my reality at all! lol This Monday was like every other Monday last year. I hit that snooze button too many times. My dog and I walked for maybe 6 mins, but I blame the weather for that! Neither one of us were here for the cold weather that hit us at the door. I  didn't leave my house until 6:15am. Since I missed my 6:00am goal, I opted for a 6:30am work goal instead... So guess who missed out on Starbucks too.... Ugh!  

Not the best start to my year if I skipped my Starbucks! I need y'all to understand something... Starbucks is Bae!! I can almost say that because I didn't have Starbucks on the first work day of the year, I'm probably not gonna have the best luck all year... Liiiiikkkkkkkke it's that serious! lol ok maybe not? 

I didn't watch television though! I've talked to quite a few people who can't wait to see how this journey unfolds! I am too!! My best friend, who decided to take the 91-day no meat challenge, decided to go the entire year without meat after hearing about my challenge!! That's pretty dope! I'm looking forward to holding her accountable and vice versa.

Want to know what she suggested I do though because she's petty?! Lol She suggested that I try going without meat for a week!!! You would have thought she told me to kill my dog or something!! Lol I QUICKLY declined that offer!! lol I am doing ENOUGH as is... I NEEDS my meat! 

Lol... So there you have it... Day four. Meh. Tomorrow will be better! 

No television in four days though!! I'm so shocked I've made it this long! 

Once Upon a Time and Real Housewives of Atlanta did cross my mind though! *crying thug tears at the thought of missing out all year*

Until tomorrow... 

Xo, Stix 

#daytwo- January 2, 2016: The struggle is Real!

I am feigning to catch up on a show... Right now, I would even settle for Nick Jr. with my dog! Not even kidding. 

Day two was kind of hard. I went to work that morning and worked for about 6 hours. Normally, after working on a Saturday I would go home, cuddle up with my dog in my bed, and watch television!! I wanted to do that so bad... I could have even gone for a Netflix and chill kind of evening. As I stated on my last blog, I pretty much had made up in my mind that I was going to take a nap and get back on my duties when I woke up! That didn't happen because my cousin FaceTimed me just as my head hit the pillow!! "Dang, how did I forget to put my phone on silent?!!"  Lol All good though! It forced me to get up and start cleaning again. 

I am proud to say that I have sorted through my clothes and my closet is CLEAN!! There are a few other things that I had planned to do, but that's not the point! I am being more productive. I'm kind of winning right now. 

My favorite part about this blog so far is that I get to assess myself and how I'm doing with this challenge. I noticed that I may or may not be ( I totally am...) replacing television time with talking on the phone! I almost have to be on the phone at all times now while I'm home.  It's like when people stop smoking cigarettes... Those people usually replace it with eating more! I'm pretty much replacing one bad habit with another one. I know I'm doing it to keep from being bored! I'm soooooo bored! Ugh! 

I'm going to figure this thing out!! Maybe I'll make a list of tasks that I can accomplish along with my daily goals... because right now... I'm not so sure how I'm going to do this without napping all day or talking on my phone. 

Anywho...Day two down.. 364 more to go... Freakin Oh.EM.GEE!! Y'all pray for me! 

Happy Sunday by the way! 

I posted this on my Instagram and I'll post here as well! I woke up feeling completely grateful to be loved by God! I can always count on his love, his guidance, and his support! No greater love than to give one's life for his friends! I am forever grateful to have that kind of love! To know that someone literally, like for real, for real, laid down his life so that I may have life!! With that thought alone, it convicts me to live a more fulfilling life! If I gave up my life for someone, I would hope that it would be so that person can live... in the moment, in the now, resembling my characteristics, and testifying of that kind of love! I sometimes overlook that, but I won't moving forward! 

Everyday without television is a day with God, a day to live, and a day to testify of his goodness!!

Y'all choosing life today?! 

With love, Stix! 

#dayone- January 1, 2016: Old Habits Die Hard

I know you're probably reading the title and thinking I slipped up. Nope, not exactly. Something interesting happened though. Check it out. 

The day started off pretty well! I walked my dog at one of my favorite lakes, reflected on the past year, and eventually went home and started gutting out my closet! I later went over my friend's house because her mom was in town and cooked us a good southern meal! Yes, this meal included black eyed peas. For those who may not know, in the south, eating black eyed peas on New Year's Day is good luck! Look it up! The way I was raised you're supposed to eat black eyed peas AND collard greens, lol. Who knows what's right or wrong in this case?! I'm not one to believe in luck, but I am used to following this tradition. Oh, and you're not supposed to wash on New Year's Day or you're risking washing someone important out of your life! I also heard that a man is supposed to be the first person to walk into your house at the beginning of the year. I still don't know what that is supposed to do. lol 

Anyway, back to the subject...my friend's television was on in the living room. Luckily, most of us were in the dining room chatting about relationships, food, what to do that night... You name it, we talked about it!  I had a great time. On the way home though, I wondered what I would have done if everyone was in the living room watching a show. Again, I haven't worked out the logistics, but I have to figure that out. Maybe I'll stay for 30 minutes or so then leave and find something more productive to do. Maybe leaving or staying to watch television with everyone will depend on if I accomplish my daily to-do list?! Idk. I'll play it by ear, I guess.

Ok... Wait.. Let me tell you what the old/ bad habit is. I am a procrastinator!! I always have been. If I know I have time to complete a task, you better believe I will wait until the last minute to do it. This challenge is supposed to help me with this bad habit. I hope so anyway. 

Once I made it back home, I had planned on finishing my closet. Instead, I did something I shouldn't have done. I sat on my bed. 

No television... 

No music... 

Just sat on my bed in silence. 

Then I thought, "Ok... I'll take a shower..." I did. Want to know what I did next?! I tied up my hair, turned off my light, and got in the bed... Smh! No television=idle time. I am going to have to force myself do something different with this time. 

To make myself feel a little bit better about going to bed at 9:00pm without completing my list, I watched a video on YouTube on how to thread my new Brother sewing machine. Lol 

Not a complete waste, right?! 

So there's my challenge... Actually using my time to be more productive.

Crap.. This is going to be more challenging than I thought. 

So there you have it... Day one, ladies and gentlemen. 

I've heard there are others that are motivated to complete the challenge as well after reading my blog. If you decide to follow my blog and are taking the challenge, let me know either here or on my social media accounts! I'll list them below.

Ok... Signing off so I can take a nap... Smh #dontjudgeme #please 

Xo, Stix

Instagram: jessstix

Twitter: imjessStix

Snapchat: jess_Stix 

Hello, 2016!

Well!! It's 2016!! *Cues Adele* "Hello from the other siiiiiiiiiidddddeeeeeee!" 

Although I started blogging about six years ago, I recognize that you may not know who I am!! In true flashback Friday fashion, I have completed an old Myspace "About Me" survey!! lol Yea, they are usually 100 facts long and No, I did not feel like completing all 100! It's not as fun at 28 as it was when I was 18. #teamtooold 

Hopefully this will help you get a glimpse of just how lame I really am.. I hope so! ;-)

Enjoy! 

About Me:

General

1.  Name: Jessica “Stix” Rodgers

2. How old are you: 28

3. Height: 6'0"

4. Do you have any siblings? Yep-5. I’m the oldest

5. Do you wear eyeglasses or contacts? Both. Glasses during the week. Contacts on the weekend. Idk why. 

6. Right or left-handed? Right…. I have a weird obsession with left-handed people though. I can name too many celebrities who are left handed… Oprah, Julia Roberts, Barack Obama, Whoppi Goldberg…I’ll stop now.

7. Your fears- Birds, dogs that I don’t know, failing, disappointing my family, never having children, k.. this is getting a bit personal and depressing. 

8. Goals you would like to achieve this year: I have a few… but to keep with the theme- going 366 days without TV. 

This or That

9. Bright or Dark Room: Bright- The more light the better!

10. Dogs or Cats: Tucker

11. Pepsi or Coke: Coke Zero

12. McDonald’s or Burger King: Mc Donald’s all day!

13. Cappuccino or Coffee: All things Starbucks!

Have you ever…

14. Laughed for no reason? All the time!#TeamGoofy

15. Been in love: Yea… It's one of my favorite feelings

16. Fired a gun: Yep. Hated it! 

What was the last… 

17. Song you listed to? Somewhere in Paradise- Chance the Rapper (new fave song right now)

18. (Who was the last) person you talked to on the phone? Dani

19. Movie you watched? Concussion

20. Song you’ve sang: Just now in my head?- “This is the song that doesn’t end… Yes, it goes on and on my frrriiieeendddsss… Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because… this is the song that doesn’t end…” (it really doesn’t end … love that about that stupid song!) Fun fact: I'm pretty sure this was the same way I answered this 10 years ago. lol 

21. Flavor of gum you’ve chewed: Orbit Sweet Mint

Favorite…

22. Age you’ve been so far: - Hmmm… I’m going to go with 28

23. Season: Summer

24. Number: 11 (it’s the only odd number I Like… I prefer even numbers normally… I am a weird person… You sure you want to read this blog?

25. TV Show: *don’t rub it in* Grey’s Anatomy

26. Flower: Purple/ lavender Calla lilies and black roses

Random

27. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?- Black

28. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?- Height

29. Are you too shy to ask someone out?- Nope! I prefer not to though…

30. Would you go on a date with someone on MySpace?- lol Naw! Did that… married him… didn’t work out!...*crickets* Aaaaaawwwwwkkkwwwaaarrrd!

A review of each day will start tomorrow!! Day one has officially started! So far so good! Wish me luck! 

XO, Stix

366 days of discovering

So... I have this idea!

Whaaaat?!- I will not watch television for the next 366 days!! 

Cray. That's the first word that comes to mind when I think about going an entire year without television! I know... I know... It seems a bit drastic... it is drastic!! For those who don't know me, I am a cold turkey kind of chick! I believe in diving right in and dealing with the hard crap along the way... This challenge is about self-discovery too... I’m curious to see how I handle the “crap!” You can count on me to be up front and honest too. If I slip, you'll be the first to know! 

Who does that?! Smh... Only Stix! 

When?!- My first day without television will start on January 1, 2016 12:00am CST and will end on January 1, 2017 12:00am CST. Of course the year I decide to do this is a leap year?! My freakin luck! 

Why?!- Well… about a week ago *schmoney dances*, I was lying in bed thinking about 2015. I couldn't recall much of anything worth talking about. I mean… Lots happened in 2015, good and bad, but I can't say that I lived life to the fullest in 2015. There wasn't a lot of discipline in my life and it pains me to say that I don't remember much of it. I didn't live life with the intention of growing or learning. I just WAS this year. I also can't remember how I spent New Year's EVE/Day in 2015. For some reason that freakin bothers me... What the heck did I do?! So yeah... This challenge is simply to encourage me to live... To be... to discover me and hopefully have a little fun in the process.

I chose to document this journey to hold me accountable. I am the type of person that needs accountability to succeed in certain areas where discipline is involved. This is one of those things. Pretty sure that’s not a good thing… *shrugs*

How?!- It's as simple as it sounds... No Once Upon a Time, No Real Housewives, No TGIT, No Black Ink Crew, No Rev Run shows (all of them... plus the new show with Tyrese) No Growing up Hip Hop... Ok... This list has to stop. I'm depressing myself... 

I still haven't figured out the logistics of it…Maybe that's what will make the blog interesting... I'll find cool things to read, cool things to do in the city, learn how to sew, blah, blah, blah! 

 I WILL see an occasional movie with friends though! Movies are my life... All of it will be done outside of my home!! The goal is not so much to be strict or withhold myself from doing... The plan is to be more intentional with the hours in my day and live a more fulfilling life!! 

Where?!- Nashville, TN/Wherever I am! Lol No exceptions.

Will you cheer me on along the way? *sigh* Weeeeelllllll here goes nothing… *holds up champagne glass* Here’s to the last day of the year and my last chance to drown myself in television! Wish me luck. 

XO, Stix