Day 26: January 26, 2016: #BlackExcellence

Tuesday! 

Easily one of my favorite days of the week...

It's my church day. A day where I anticipate greatly God's presence in worship and in fellowship with some church members that have become really good friends! It was literally the first thing on my mind when I woke up that morning....

And after all that.... anticipation... guess who didn't make it to church?!?! 

This one. #teamslackinallaround

I left the house for church and totally didn't make it.... I had every intention of going, I was just tired! I ended up catching up with a friend and then went home and cuddled with my dog! Smh... What is my life?? 

I didn't watch TV though aaaannnnnnd I was at work super early... 6:30 to be exact. Nothing new... gotta make this money. 

In other news....

Can we talk about the Birth of a Nation film?! For those who may not know, fine Nate Parker, wrote, directed, and starred in what seems to have been an amazing slave-rebellion drama! So amazing that he was offered a record-breaking $17.5 million to own the rights of the film?! This all happened at a bucket list festival that I hope to attend some day, the Sundance Film Festival. I've done some research on this film and was inspired by the time, effort, and money that went into it.  

Nate (yes we're on first name basis... He's bae, duh!) pursued this film with his whole heart. It took him seven years to write it. He even gave up acting for two years to devote his time into it. Talk about passion!! Talk about BLACK EXCELLENCE!!! He spent $100,000 of his own money travelling the world to pitch the film to investors. A few basketball players and others invested and helped form his $10 million budget... Remember the offer I mentioned??? He received his money back plus some. 

There are rumors that Netflix bid $20 million, but Parker turned it down to ensure that it was presented properly and to the right market!! That alone spoke volumes to me!! When you've invested in something and believe in something, your own project, you have to protect it! You don't necessarily sell to the highest bidder when it's your baby...when you want it done right!! 

I'm proud of this WIN for black people!! This shows our ability to BE in an industry that doesn't want to give us a chance! This shows the world that we belong... we always belonged and our gift will always make room for us!!  

I have learned to invest in myself, believe in myself, and allow myself to grow! No matter how many chances it takes... No matter how many No's I get... If it's mine, it's mine!! 

I'm so here for this story!! I'm looking forward to seeing this film.

Until next time, 

Stix

Day 25- January 25, 2015: (Monday Numero Quatro) Motivated by Monday IV

 I have a feeling that the Monday title won’t stick!! I’m not liking it too much.. in fact… as I was typing just now, I decided to strike the original title and change it to Motivated by Monday. 

What an oxymoron! I’m not motivated by Mondays… Mostly because I’m not doing what I love, but I intend to someday… I guess we can say I'm speaking it into existence! Boom… So there you have it… One day that title will be true! In the meantime… let’s talk about Monday!

Typical start to my week… I haven’t gone back to making my bed up in the mornings and yes, I’ve been hitting the snooze button… but I made it to work on time and even managed a little overtime after work! So blah…Typical Monday… I’m determined to end it with a quick work out on my floor…Maybe a few crunches (I need to work off these Klondike bars that I’ve been munching on since the snow showed its face…) and a push up or two! 

To end on somewhat of a positive note… I’ll share this… It starts kind of weird, but bear with me…

To get through my days at work, I’m usually listening to a playlist on Spotify. You know how songs make me feel… I, like most of us, associate certain songs to memories, some good and some bad. Today, while working on notes for a meeting I attended, Dwele’s “Open your Eyes” came on.

“I see you in a lonely place…how can you be so blind. You’re still regretting the love you left, left behind. Oh darling… I see you go through a change, sitting along each night. Are you expecting to find the love, love that’s right. Oh darling, open your eyes and let me show you the light. Girl you’ll never find the love that’s right….

There is a light that shines special for you and me…. You’ll need to look at the other side. You’ll agree… ”

Ok.. that’s enough. That song triggers a beautiful memory for me at the time, but definitely took me to a place today.. I was literally about to cry thug tears. My ex-husband used to create mixtapes that told “our story.” That was one of the songs from the first mixtape. I don’t think I’ve heard it since then. Anyway, I immediately went into this dark place that I’ve been trying to stay away from. That place where I hear the lies that I’ll never find love like that again…

That I’m the reason that my relationship ended…

I mean…after all… most of the guys I dated seriously are married now…

“…and look at you… divorced…”

I mean… THOSE kind of lies. 

Lies that I believe and pray like HELL that God will help me ignore. Anyway… right on time, my friend sends me an article entitled, “How To Ruin Your Life (Without you noticing that you are). Good stuff… I’ll include the link so you can read it, but check this out:

“You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively….You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren’t good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.”

 Commmmmeeeee on,  *in the voice of one of my good, church friends, Katie* If my God is not an on time God, man…!!! 

 http://thoughtcatalog.com/bianca-sparacino/2014/11/how-to-ruin-your-life-without-even-noticing-that-you-are/

 I’ma leave that right there! Check it out if you feel you need it!!! 

 Good stuff.

Until next time, 

Stix

#day12- January 12, 2016- Dear Diary, The struggle though...

Every time I type out the date in my title I feel the need to say....

"Dear Diary,..."

Random, I know. Maybe now that I've said it, it will be out of my system.

Tuesday! It was better than Monday, that's for sure! Not much better than Monday, but definitely better.... And by better, I mean I didn't hit the snooze button or get back in the bed. That's as far as it went though. I've completely gotten out of the routine of making my bed already. I think I'm going to try writing out my days, chore by chore to develop a better habit of handling my bih-ness because the way my life is currently set up( I actually hate that I quote that Kevin Hart line, but it's so necessary... Not really a fan of his, but I digress) I'm going to have to plan this out a little better.

It's amazing how I'm so disciplined at work. I set a goal for myself and I get it down... If I plan to be at work early, I usually do it. If I want to work an additional 2-4 hours, I do that as well! What is it about meeting my goals outside of work?? It's a daily battle I tell you!! 

Tomorrow starts my first day of the kickboxing class I signed up for... Let's see how this goes!! 

Until next time,

Stix

#day11- January 11, 2016: Monday Numero Dos

I've decided that I'm counting every Monday because... They're important. Lol They, for me, are the hardest day of the week and usually sets the tone for that week. It was another bluesy Monday for me. I didn't hit the snooze button. I did something worse. I got out of the bed, turned on my light, went to the bathroom, and then got back in the bed. I literally set my alarm clock and got back in the bed, with the light on, for another 15 minutes. 

I know.... I'm judging me too!!

I have to do better. 

Remember that #wcw I mentioned last week, Myleik Teele?! She does something cool on Sunday's that I think I'm going to try. She celebrates week's end on Sunday with champagne and sets goals for the next week! It makes sense! It's like rewarding yourself for all you accomplished the week before and take that positive energy into the start of the new week. Celebrating the end of one week at the beginning of the next week with champagne is pretty darn genius to me! I'm doing it.. Try it with me?!

Another day of no television down though! I have yet to slip there! And I won't! I hardly ever think about it. I've been reading quite a bit! Right now I'm juggling Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes and Grey by E L James! 

Can't complain...! 

Anywho.....

*Lifts glass* 

To a better start tomorrow,

-Stix

#day10- January 10, 2016: My "Why?"

My roommate and I had a great conversation about self-discipline and how hard it's been to give up television, for me, and cable for her! It all seems dumb and pointless right now. We've both found ourselves getting a bit frustrated by the process and even wanting to blame God or be mad at Him for where we are in life... I know, I know... That doesn't make a lot of sense and is ultimately not fair when I think about it.

One technique that I've practiced lately that helps me stay on task and committed to this challenge is to remind myself WHY I gave up television. I'll list them below:

1.) Maximizing my Time: I want to say last year, but if I'm being completely honest, I'll say for as far back as I can remember I have always spent my idle time in front of a television. There has always been something else I could be doing such as, organizing my living space, cleaning out my car, creating a plan for the day, week, month, or year, catching up with family friends, etc. Isn't it funny how we(or I) can give you a blow by blow of my favorite celebrities life, but can't tell you how my friend or family member is doing?! It's a sad or unfortunate truth that I am not proud of at all. With this challenge, I am committing to make better use of my time. 

2.) Saving money- Now that we both have given up television/cable, our new internet bill is so much cheaper than what we were paying... I'm talking like $140 cheaper. With this amount of money going towards catching up on bills (my divorce kind of jacked up my finances) and eventually putting this money away, I can take more trips and save for the house I hope to own in the next year or two! This definitely helps me stay on track! 

3.) Finding/ Focusing on my passion- Modeling is something that I really want to pursue and grow in, however I have never committed the time I need to, to make it happen. There are so many celebrities that I admire for always hustling and growing in their field and have always hoped to muster up the energy and drive that they have to pursue my dream. I know for a fact that they aren't sitting in front of a television. These people are studying their craft, building relationships with people in their field and working with them, and etc. Without television, I have time to do the same. Study my craft... Grow in that craft.! 

4.) Discovering new things- I hope by the end of this challenge I can say that I've tried lots of different things and found that I love some of them. Because I'm athletic and competitive, I am always down for a new sport to try. I've tried tennis and loved it! I will definitely revisit that sport with lessons in the spring. I plan to try my hand at golf as well. Recently, I signed up for a kickboxing class and a boxing class! I'll definitely blog about both! I'm looking to using some of this time to try different classes and see where it goes... Who knows.. I may take a cooking class! lol I'm not really about that life... But we'll see! 

Anyway, I was definitely motivated by our conversation to continue to focus on my "why" and continue to tackle this challenge with everything I have! This challenge could quite possibly lead to this year being "the best year ever" (another quote from my vision board) if I let it...

We shall see.

Until next time, 

Stix

#day9- January 9, 2016: "Be Bold. Be Unexpected. Be You."

That is one of the quotes on my vision/affirmation board this year! I took a peak at it before bed and it stood out to me... especially after watching the movie, "Joy," 

What an awesome movie... No spoilers, don't worry! 

One thing I'll share about myself before I continue is, I try to find the lesson in everything. In my mind, nothing happens by chance. If I come across it, it's for a reason and I'm going to find the lesson in it. Point. Blank. Period.  With that in my mind, I'll continue...

I walked away with quite a few lessons after seeing "Joy." In my opinion, the movie was a bit long and drawn out, however one thing I learned from Joy Mangano is that once you tap into your own power the sky is the limit! You literally cannot be stopped and absolutely no one can stand in your way. Joy Mangano is an inspiration, a hero! She was tested time after time with an invention that she couldn't get out of her head for years... She knew it was a good idea. Proving that to the world wasn't so easy... She wasn't your typical, self-confident, head strong woman. She was like me... A woman passionate about a dream and willing to do whatever it takes to protect it and see it succeed! She knew nothing about business. She simply had a good idea. 

She was bold when it was hard to be though... Unexpectedly brave and smart, and she didn't allow the market she was introducing her invention to change her!! It's a remarkable story and one that I was proud to learn is a true story! 

I love a good movie, but it's something about learning that the character that you are drawn to and inspired by is real. It makes defying odds and overcoming defeat seem possible! It's a great movie that I recommended to everyone! 

I walked out of that movie feeling like I could conquer the world... I felt like nothing could stop me... I am even more encouraged to...

Be Bold.

Be Unexpected.

Be Myself! 

Good stuff... It was also so refreshing to sit in front of a movie screen! Lol the things we take for granted! I am now extremely grateful for a movie theatre, chile!! Haha! 

Until next time friends, 

Stix! 

#dayone- January 1, 2016: Old Habits Die Hard

I know you're probably reading the title and thinking I slipped up. Nope, not exactly. Something interesting happened though. Check it out. 

The day started off pretty well! I walked my dog at one of my favorite lakes, reflected on the past year, and eventually went home and started gutting out my closet! I later went over my friend's house because her mom was in town and cooked us a good southern meal! Yes, this meal included black eyed peas. For those who may not know, in the south, eating black eyed peas on New Year's Day is good luck! Look it up! The way I was raised you're supposed to eat black eyed peas AND collard greens, lol. Who knows what's right or wrong in this case?! I'm not one to believe in luck, but I am used to following this tradition. Oh, and you're not supposed to wash on New Year's Day or you're risking washing someone important out of your life! I also heard that a man is supposed to be the first person to walk into your house at the beginning of the year. I still don't know what that is supposed to do. lol 

Anyway, back to the subject...my friend's television was on in the living room. Luckily, most of us were in the dining room chatting about relationships, food, what to do that night... You name it, we talked about it!  I had a great time. On the way home though, I wondered what I would have done if everyone was in the living room watching a show. Again, I haven't worked out the logistics, but I have to figure that out. Maybe I'll stay for 30 minutes or so then leave and find something more productive to do. Maybe leaving or staying to watch television with everyone will depend on if I accomplish my daily to-do list?! Idk. I'll play it by ear, I guess.

Ok... Wait.. Let me tell you what the old/ bad habit is. I am a procrastinator!! I always have been. If I know I have time to complete a task, you better believe I will wait until the last minute to do it. This challenge is supposed to help me with this bad habit. I hope so anyway. 

Once I made it back home, I had planned on finishing my closet. Instead, I did something I shouldn't have done. I sat on my bed. 

No television... 

No music... 

Just sat on my bed in silence. 

Then I thought, "Ok... I'll take a shower..." I did. Want to know what I did next?! I tied up my hair, turned off my light, and got in the bed... Smh! No television=idle time. I am going to have to force myself do something different with this time. 

To make myself feel a little bit better about going to bed at 9:00pm without completing my list, I watched a video on YouTube on how to thread my new Brother sewing machine. Lol 

Not a complete waste, right?! 

So there's my challenge... Actually using my time to be more productive.

Crap.. This is going to be more challenging than I thought. 

So there you have it... Day one, ladies and gentlemen. 

I've heard there are others that are motivated to complete the challenge as well after reading my blog. If you decide to follow my blog and are taking the challenge, let me know either here or on my social media accounts! I'll list them below.

Ok... Signing off so I can take a nap... Smh #dontjudgeme #please 

Xo, Stix

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